Lazy vs Ambitious

I’ve been thinking… This week it’s back to school for me again. This year I am starting a new master program at KTH in Stockholm. I say new because last fall I started a master at SU and well, I can only describe that as a fiasco. This year I am doing a program in the Economics of Innovation and Growth and yeah, it probably is as nerdy as it sounds.  Good thing I am a nerd and very excited. I even looked up the literature list for my first courses and started reading in advance.

So, whats the problem? Well, the problem is that I somehow have the ability to be thoroughly lazy and incredible ambitious at the same time.  As a result, I got the book but it is so hard for me to actually sit down and read it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read about a third but my ambitious self expected the whole book to be done by now. It really bothers me that I have the ability to, completely guilt free, do absolutely nothing for hours and at the same time want to excel at a Hermione Granger level.

I think for me it’s about mental preparation. I can’t just decide to do something and then focus on that task until it’s done, I don’t have that kind of self discipline. I need to take time to convince myself of why I should do something and why it will be worth it in the end.

Right, so now I will try to take my own advice and convince myself to sit down and read for a while. I might be excited to know everything about Advanced Microeconomic Theory, but it is quite a tedious read as you can imagine. Wish me luck!